15 Nov You Can Never Tell Whether Bad Luck May Not, After All, Turn Out To Be Good Luck
I’ve been eager to write this post for awhile but I was waiting for the healing process to take place before I talked about it outside of my inner circle.
Almost 2 years ago, I broke my nose in a paddling accident. Since then I have struggled with breathing in a way I never knew possible. In October I had the 4th procedure to repair the damage and surely breathe better than I ever did. I’m keeping my fingers crossed it’s the last.
I must admit it’s been quite a challenge. Not being able to breathe well has impaired my sleeping, limited my physical activity, and generally is just a giant pain in the ass. It’s miserable feeling like you’re constantly gasping for air and like something is stuck up your nose. And wearing a mask, ugh fuhgeddaboudit.
But here’s where the gifts come in…first I definitely have more empathy for people who struggle with breathing issues.
Secondly, it helped me practice speaking up for myself and asking for what I needed. I have had a pattern of muscling through pain; feeling weak if I said I was hurting. I would worry about coming across as a needy and annoying patient. Let’s be real, I still have those thoughts but now I can usually push past those fears.
I also use to pooh pooh doctors and only take an alternative treatment approach to medical issues. This was mainly because of my own experiences where the medical community failed to cure chronic health issues but alternative approaches did. After all, I became a Board Certified Holistic Health Practitioner certified by American Association of DRUGLESS Practitioners for this very reason. Getting people off medication and guiding them through alternative approach’s is my jam. But through this, I had to have medical care. No amount of supplements, nutrition, and meditation was going to fix what surgery needed to do. Those modalities help the body heal, but they do not fix a broken bone.
Another gift this whole experience has really helped me with is reinforcing the need to be gentle with myself. For many many years exercise has really supported mind and my body, especially running, but it’s hard to run at your best when you aren’t able to breathe smoothly. Mouth breathing is not a pretty sight. Allowing myself space to just be who I am in my body while limiting the heavy exertion type of exercise has been transformational. I’ve learned a whole new way to exercise, breathe, and just be.
But the most beautiful gift that has been cemented during this time has been in my deep knowing that you get what you ask for. It might not be on your time table or come in the form you are looking for, but it does come. My entire adult life I have wanted to change the shape and look of my nose. I hated my profile and couldn’t stand photos of me. I have gained more confidence and appreciation over the last 5 years (thank you trauma work), but truthfully I continue to struggle with it even today. I wanted a nose job but it always seemed out of reach; it never seemed to be the right time, I never really had the money to pay for something that, I was fearful of the procedure itself, and the excuses go on and on.
And in the end, the universe provided, as it always does. Yes, I had to struggle before I received the gift, that’s how we humans like things to work sometimes. But the result was even better than I could have imagined. I was in a totally different mental and physical space when it happened, the doctor was a reconstruction specialist, and insurance covered it. Win! Win! Win! So breaking my nose wasn’t really bad luck after all, but turned out to be good luck (if that’s what we want to call it). I prefer to call it divine intervention, but call it what you will.
My breathing isn’t completely restored yet. I’m told it will take 9 months before I’m fully healed, but the moments I can breathe well are the deepest and cleanest breaths I have ever taken, (especially after he suctions it out each week. Woohoo). And my profile…oh man; Bellísimo!