30 Nov Do you appear outwardly confident while living with a constant question of our worth?

Have you ever heard the term adult child? Many people jokingly use the term in frustration to describe men who are irresponsible and seemed to have not grown up yet. But in actuality, the term’s origin developed from a deeper state than just not manning up.

Simply put an adult child describes a person who responds to adult interactions with the fear and self-doubt learned as children. There is an undercurrent of hidden fear that dictates their choices and relationship interactions. They often appear confident but tend to underestimate their attractiveness and abilities. In fact, adult children have many traits in common. We will be exploring them in future posts as it is foundational to the work I do for myself and with my clients.

To many professionals in the mental health community, there is an understanding that the characteristics adult children display are a result of experiences growing up in a dysfunctional family or exposure to a traumatic event(s).
Many adult children have successful careers but still felt disconnected from life while some experience repeated failure. Some have had great homes and jobs, but deep down wondered why others appeared to be enjoying life while they guessed at what was “normal”. They felt like they were on the outside looking in. Some power through by overcompensating through overworking, or over-giving to others. Some buy more and more but still feel a void. Some turn to food, alcohol, gambling, drugs, or over-exercising to avoid dealing with the underlying issues. Some adult children have turned to empty sexual interactions or drama-filled relationships, and that doesn’t just mean romantic, it can be drama within families, with co-workers, and friends.

The behaviors that adult children present can be large and noticeable or so small that even their partner could miss it. Recognizing these traits and behaviors in yourself is the first step in dramatically shifting your life.

How is this post landing? Do you honk you have traits of an adult child?